Line book!

[Interrogator#6]

Originally Posted by morse1001

19. You must tell us who killed JFK. Its been driving us mad.

ON a serious note, and with all honesty, in 1979 the U S Conngresional Special Sub-committee of Assassinations concluded the while they could not say who pulled the trigger, there was a 98+% certainty that at least 4 shots were fired at JFK, and that there thus must have been at least 2 shooters. All the files of the committee, which were broadcast live on National Public Radio are now classified as top secret.

Some citizens were listening and remember.

The TRUTH may one day set us free.

[Kitty]

The Butler did it.

[morse1001]

Originally Posted by Kitty

The Butler did it.

No way! it was Col Mustard in the Kitchen with the knife!

or the one about the Swedish Murder mystery, the butler was the only one not to do it!

[CTNana]

Originally Posted by morse1001

No way! it was Col Mustard in the Kitchen with the knife!

or the one about the Swedish Murder mystery, the butler was the only one not to do it!

I thought that he was still alive, albeit badly injured, on a desert island somewhere. I can't think why I am joking about what was one of the defining moments of my teenage years! I think, no matter how much stuff they rake up about him, he will always be a hero to my generation.

[CTNana]

Today's chuckle? Sadly I can identify with too many of these (particularly the last)!!!!

1. Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them (did that in my 20's, left my son outside a shop!!!).

2. One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5lbs.

3. My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.

4. The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes (how true!!).

5. The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you are doing, someone else does.

6. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.

7. Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today

8. Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.

9. I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my knickers.

10. Every 7 minutes of everyday, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.

11. Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes!

12. Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like...'You know, sometimes I forget to eat!' ....... Now, I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my keys. But I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!

13. A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills...she has 14 kids but doesn't really care.

14. My body is not all that communicative but I heard from it the other day after I said 'Body, how would you like to go to the six o'clock class of vigorous toning?' Clear as a bell my body said ' Listen witch.....do it and die'.

15. The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.

16. I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are - eating too much; impulse buying and driving too fast. Are they kidding?
That's my idea of a perfect day!

[Hawkeye90]

My father told me this one today.

A man walks into his bedroom carrying a duck under his arm. His wife is laying on the bed reading.

Husband: (looks at the duck) "This is the fat pig I've been talling you about."

Wife: "Dear, thats not a pig, thats a duck!"

Husband: "Im not talking to you, Im talking to the duck..."

hehe

[Kitty]

and 5 seconds later he was dead

[morse1001]

Originally Posted by Hawkeye90

My father told me this one today.

A man walks into his bedroom carrying a duck under his arm. His wife is laying on the bed reading.

Husband: (looks at the duck) "This is the fat pig I've been talling you about."

Wife: "Dear, thats not a pig, thats a duck!"

Husband: "Im not talking to you, Im talking to the duck..."

hehe

A member of the RAF Regiment with a duck on his head, walked into see a doctor.

The doctor asked, "where did you get that"?

The duck replied, "it started as a pimple on my bum"!

[morse1001]

A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot. One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach almost every day. She
wasn't unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing; she would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around furtively, then speak to them.
Generally the people would respond negatively and she would wander off, but occasionally someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange of money and something she carried in her bag. The couple assumed that she was selling drugs and debated calling the cops, but since they didn't know for sure, they just continued to watch her.
After a couple of weeks the wife said, "Honey, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic
devices?"
He hadn't - and said so. Then she said, "Tomorrow I want you to get a
towel and our big Radio and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find
out what she's really doing."
Well, the plan went off without a hitch and the wife was almost hopping up &down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband and then leave. The man then walked up the beach and met his wife at the road.
Well, Is she selling drugs?" she asked excitedly. No, she's not," he said, enjoying this probably more than he should have.
Well, what is it then? What does she do?" his wife fairly shrieked.
The man grinned and said, "She's a battery salesperson."
"Batteries?" cried the wife.
"Yes ....." he replied -

OOOH - Now this is going to kill you

OOOOH - You're gonna hate me for this -
but it will make your day!!!









she sells C cells by the sea shore!"

[spidge]

You are a bad man!