[Kyt]

Helpdesk: Double click on "My Computer"
User: I can't see your computer.
Helpdesk: No, double click on "My Computer" on your computer.
User: Huh?
Helpdesk: There is an icon on your computer labeled "My Computer". Double click on it.
User: What's your computer doing on mine?

"MMORPG players are freaks. If I ever have kids, and I catch them doing anything with a computer except for normal stuff like porn and hacking into school to change their grades, I will beat their asses like a red headed step child."

"Crap... Someone knocked over my recycle bin... There's icons all over my desktop..."

"No printing is permitted of this book.
This book cannot be given to someone else.
This book cannot be read aloud." — License terms for Adobe ebooks.

"When I was a teenager, Mom said I'd go blind if I didn't quit doing *that*. Maybe she was right — since the invention of internet porn, computer monitors keep getting bigger and bigger. !"


Men think that computers should be referred to as female, just like ships, because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2. The language in which they communicate among themselves is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. The message "Bad command or File Name" is about as informative as "if you don't know why I'm mad at you, I'm certainly not going to tell you !"
4. Your smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for later retrieval.
5. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you spend half your paycheck on accessories for it.
6. Miss a period and they go wild.
7. You do the same thing for years, and suddenly it's wrong.

Women think computers are male because:

1. They have lots of data, but are still clueless.
2. They are supposed to solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
3. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had only waited a bit longer, you could have had a better model.
4. To get their attention, you have to "turn them on".
5. A big "power-surge" will knock them out for the rest of the night !
6. It is always necessary to have a backup.
7. They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.
8. Size does matter.