[morse1001]

> Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
>
> Female customer: A white one...
>
> ===============
>
> Customer: Hi, this is Maureen. I can't get my diskette out.
> Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
> Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
> Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
> Customer: No , wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still
> on my desk... sorry....
>
> ===============
>
>
>
> Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the
> screen.
> Customer: Your left or my left?
>
> ===============
>
> Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
> Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
> Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
> Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill
> Gates.
>
> ===============
>
> Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time
> I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and
> placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't
> find it...
>
> ============== =
>
> Customer: I have problems printing in red...
> Tech support: Do you have a colour printer?
> Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
>
> ===============
>
> Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
> Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at Woolies.
>
> ===============
>
> Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
> Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
> Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
> Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
> Customer:! OK
> Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
> Customer: Yes
> Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there
> another keyboard?
> Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah..that one does work...
>
> ===============
>
> Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a
> capital letter V as n Victor, the number 7.
> Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ?
>
> == =============
>
> Customer: can't get on the Internet.
> Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
> Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
> Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
> Customer: Five stars.
>
> ===============
>
> Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
> Customer: Netscape.
> Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
> Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
>
> ===============
>
> Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on
> my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
>
> ===============
>
> Tech support: How may I help you?
> Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
> Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
> Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get
> the circle around it?
>
> ===============
>
> A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her
> printer.
> Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
> Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point.
> The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his
> printer is working fine."
>
> ===============
>
> And last but not least...
>
> Tech support: "Okay Huw let's press the control and escape keys at the
> same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now
> type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
> Customer: I don't have a P.
> Tech support: On your keyboard, Huw.
> Customer: What do you mean?
> Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Huw.
> Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!
>
>
> ________________________________